4 tips for using hookup apps discretely — advice for Feeld, Tinder, AdultFriendFinder, and Grindr

There are a lot of valid reasons for looking for a hookup and you certainly don’t need to justify your quest for a fling to us.

If you want to protect your privacy or at least keep a low profile while you swipe through sexy singles in your area, there are a few different approaches you can take, some general guidance that works across all apps and sites, and some more targeted advice depending on the service you’re using.

General tips for browsing hookup apps discreetly

The following tips work well across all hookup sites. Think of them as general guidelines for limiting your exposure:

• Sign up using an alternative email address. Not only does this spare you in the event of a data breach (and trust us: they’re more common than you would think), but it also means that no one who catches a glance at your inbox will ever find out which hookup sites you frequent.

• Anonymize your photos as far as possible. You don’t have to blur your face, but neither should you be taking photos of yourself that could show someone what neighborhood you live in or where you work. Additionally, ensure you leave out any identifying marks, such as unique tattoos, from any of your profile photos.  

• Don’t link your social media in your profile. Too many people share their Instagram pages or TikTok handles in their profiles, but doing so dramatically increases your exposure, since every image and story you post there could inadvertently contain identifying information about you, from who your friends are to where you hang out.  

• Take advantage of gift cards or prepaid credit cards. If you opt to purchase a premium membership to a hookup app or site, the paper trail linking your bank account or credit card to the service is a definite liability. To maximize your anonymity, use a prepaid card or purchase a gift card rather than using your main credit or debit card to register your membership. 

App-specific tips to retain your anonymity

Feeld

For the privacy-conscious dater, Feeld’s Incognito mode is a game-changer: you can scout the Discover feed without leaving a digital footprint, remaining invisible to anyone you haven’t explicitly “liked.” The app also supports private photo vaults that only unlock for confirmed connections.

Tinder

Tinder offers a few unique features that can help you lower your profile, even as you swipe away. First, consider turning off Discovery mode when you’re trying to keep a low profile. This will make it impossible for new people to find your profile in search without preventing you from speaking to the people you’ve already matched with.

If you really want to take things up a notch and you already have a Tinder Plus, Gold or Platinum membership, you can use Passport Mode to browse singles in a nearby city, or a place you’re travelling to for work or on a vacation. This is a great way to prevent your local friends and family from accidentally coming across your profile. 

You can also block phone numbers if you really don’t want certain individuals coming across your profile, like your boss or sibling.

Grindr

The first line of defence on Grindr is a relatively new feature called Profile Hide that works on one user at a time. Say, for example, you come across a co-worker on the app, and don’t want them to know you’re also using it. Simply click on their profile and find the Hide icon. If you tap this, your profile will become invisible to them and their profile will become invisible to you, like magic.

If you want to take things up a notch, you’ll need a Grindr Unlimited membership, which unlocks a really useful privacy feature called Incignito mode, which essentially allows you to use the service in total secrecy, without anyone knowing you’re there until you initiate an interaction. 

AdultFriendFinder

AdultFriendFinder is like the Wild West of hookup sites, a place where seemingly anything goes, but that carefree attitude can also be a privacy nightmare. We strongly recommend you limit the amount of identifiable information you put on your profile, including being very selective about which photos you choose to share.

One good way to strike a balance between total anonymity and a modicum of privacy is to take advantage of AFF’s many photo features, specifically their photo permissions options. You can make your main profile photo something reasonably discrete, such as a full-length picture of you wearing a hat or a photo shot from a distance or even a photo with your face blurred out, but then you can create a photo album of more identifiable, personal photos that you choose to share only with friends. 

That way, you become the final gatekeeper over your photos, allowing you to be selective about who you share them with.